Enter Vitamin I

OK, the time has come. Yesterday I took my first Vitamin I (aka Ibuprofen). During the Arms & Shoulders workout, doing a move I've done a zillion times (figures), I tweaked something in my back. Of course it's upper back and almost dead center, so I can't reach it. So I tried to get the kink out - I hung on the pullup bar, I stretched every which way I could think of, I made Chad crack my back, I get my coworkers to drill their knuckles into the tight spot, etc etc. Finally I came home from work yesterday and went for the Vitamin I. I've had a few since then, plus Mike puts sports gel on it for me, and it's getting better. Then this afternoon Mike was trying to massage it out and I actually heard some audible popping noises - which really freaked me out by the way - and then everything felt better for a sec, and then it got tender again. Why? Did he fix it, and now it's just sore? Or did he make it worse? I don't know, just hand me the freaking pill bottle. I would like to note that I am only taking 1 at a time, no more than a few per day. So that leaves me plenty of room to upgrade to a heavier dosage if (when) I really hurt myself.

I also have a bum foot which I'm dealing with daily. What happened, you ask? Well, I decided to go for a run on New Years Eve because I like to run before I go to parties where I will inevitably gorge myself on food and spirits and merry making. It had been awhile since I'd been running, and my shoes were 2 years old, and I ran too far, almost 4 miles. This may seem like nothing to some of you (Michelle), but it's like a really long way for me. Anyhoo, I got up the next day for New Years Day football, and my foot hurt like a sonuva...gun. Since then I've been to a couple "good feet" stores and even a bonafide podiatrist, and it turns out my arches are hella high (yes, knew that) and my old shoes weren't supportive enough (doh!) so now my plantar fascia (sp?) tendon is damaged. It flares up sometimes after p90x, but it's not like I've had to get out the Vitamin I for that yet. Plus there's a guy on the Plyometrics (Jump Training) video with a prosthetic leg, so I feel kinda like an ass complaining about my annoying little foot injury if he can jump around on a fake leg.

Pain means progress, right? Sha! Getting old sucks!! But! Lucky for me, I hurt my back yesterday and then today was Yoga. Last week I hated Yoga, but today it was alright. First of all, now I know what Warrior I and Warrior II and Reverse Warrior and Warrior III and a bunch of other poses mean, so I wasn't completely lost. (Warrior III is hard as H, by the way). It just felt good to stretch. Yoga is 90 minutes long and it's a doozy, but I think it will keep growing on me, and I can't wait to be flexy. I freakin' better be flexy before this is over with!!

I am constantly tempted by food. If Chad's Grandma is the devil, then Mom DeVries is her apprentice. We told Mom DV we're on a diet, and we can have meat and veggies and no carbs, which is a little generalized but whatever. We got there for Sunday dinner, and we ate filet mignons (delish), asparagus drizzled with oil, carrots, salad, and a whipped topping dessert made with cool whip, oranges, and cottage cheese. No bread, no potatoes. Mom said "cool whip is nothing" and we pretended she's right and ate it, but we knew deep down that cool whip is all carbs and we were totally cheating! Actually, the meal would've been OK, even in the realm of what's allowed for p90x, except for something I call the "grazing gene", which Mike and I both possess, and which smashes "portion control" into the dirt! I love Mom DV and she always takes care of us, and she & I have since talked about how next time we'll go "buffet style". The plan is that if Mike or I dare to get up for seconds, everyone has full license to give us all kinds of crap and call us fat. It's foolproof!

Speaking of temptation, I also want you to know that I actually made fudge, two 9x13 pans of fudge, for the GEMS Mother Daughter Night. I didn't eat any of it. I sat there while the people around me ate it, and I said no. Like most females, saying no to chocolate is a big deal for me! I have my own little cheats thought - like when I get coffee, which is pretty much every day, I use half-n-half. And real sugar. I figure if I'm dieting and working out 6 days a week, I'm not going to fail at this because of coffee creamer. At least I hope not.

Only 10 hours til our next workout! - Laura

The Devil Went Down to Ripon...and I lost

I’m feeling good! The workouts are becoming familiar this second time through, both in my mind and in my body. This P90X thing is all about muscle confusion, so in 2 weeks, after our bodies have grown completely accustomed to the workout, they will change to throw the muscles back into a land of confusion (Is that a Phil Collins song??).

Anyway, the biggest threat to the P90X challenge is the weekend. I think it might be best to become a recluse on the weekends- go nowhere, see no one! Here’s just one example from last weekend:

My grandparents are great people. I love them very dearly. However, this past Sunday, my sweet 89-year-old grandmother took on the form of the devil! Once a month, our family gets together at their little apartment for “Coffee”. Dutch Reformed people know all about Sunday Coffee at grandma's after church. As a kid, going out to play at grandpa and grandma’s with all my cousins while the adults sat around talking and drinking coffee was probably one of my favorite times of the week...a memory I'll cherish forever. We used to do it quite often, but the schedule for the last 15+ years or so has been that we have “Coffee” on the second Sunday of the month. My grandma is a baker extraordinaire and her cakes and pies always satisfy. So, this past Sunday was Coffee Sunday, and what does Grandma haul out?? Homemade chocolate cake!! *PISSED FISTS!!* Now, before you ask, “Where’s your willpower Chad?” My willpower is very strong! I threw out half a container of Moose Tracks ice cream from my freezer. I threw out the JellyBellys from the candy dish. I even threw out one of the staples to my diet for the past 20 years: tortilla chips and salsa!! This is different. This is Grandma DenOuden! Ask my brother, my grandparents are NOT easy people to say no to and ESPECIALLY not when they’re waving a delicious Duncan Hines chocolate cake in front of your face and you’re starving because the only thing you’ve eaten in the last 4 hours was stale communion bread and gross grape juice!! Add to this the blasted bowl of Cheetos sitting on the coffee table in front of you and you’ve got a recipe for disaster on your hands…or I guess 'on my orange-stained fingers and in my mouth' is more accurate!

Since today marks the beginning of Lent, I find it appropriate to sacrifice even more for P90X than I already have. Yes, Sundays will most likely include some sort of healthy “cheat” meal (after all, the 40 days of Lent do not include the Sundays in between Ash Wednesday and Easter *HAPPY FISTS!*), but meals on Friday nights and Saturdays from here on out will adhere strictly to the rules, that is, whenever possible…barring coffee at the devil’s, I mean, Grandma’s. Then, all bets are off!

chad

Boys Night is Bad for the X-Ing

So, it's Friday. Today was "Legs and Back". Chad already talked about "Yoga X" from Thursday, which is my least fave so far. The Yoga was pretty darn hard, and Tony D. kept reminding me how much I sucked at it. "Your heels should be on the floor" - F. "Your back should be straight" - F. "While you have 3 limbs suspended in the air, reach down and grab your standing leg" - Biff. "Always breathe" - F. I do have to give Tony credit because he has an uncanny way of knowing what I'm doing. He usually starts with "now I don't want to see this..." and then he describes exactly what I'm doing, and then I have to be like "dangit!" and try to fix it, and then it's even harder. Stupid Yoga. It would be cool if I was flexible. At all.

So last night was Boys Night, this long-standing (assanine) tradition where my hubby and his circle of trust get together for beers or mixies, they watch sports or comedy, and pretty much just hang out for a night. No girls allowed. Testosterone abounds. This often happens at my house, which I'm cool with, I have plenty of places I can go. Then when I get home I wrinkle my nose because my house smells like a bachelor pad (somehow magically they accomplish this after only a few hours) and I kick out the last remaining boys because Mike and I have to work the next day. Plus did I mention I'm X-ing the next day? Of course I did. The actual Boys Night event wasn't the problem last night, it was the after-effects. I think I woke up 6 times (not exaggerating) last night because Mike was snoring in my ear. I am lucky and Mike is very good at rolling over if I nudge him or ask him to, and then the snoring stops temporarily. But that doesn't erase the fact that I woke up in the first place! And Boys Night is a crazy night for my dog, Natty, too. They all love her and treat her right, but she eats like crap and she gets all worked up, and then she can't sleep. And when she gets squirrelly during the night, Mike doesn't even notice much less wake up (recall: he has had a few beers and is snoring at this point). And I'm sleeping light anyway because I'm paranoid about not hearing my p90x alarm, so the dog wakes me up. And I get up and let her out, or tend to her, or whatever the H the damn dog needs in the middle of the night. Then of course the actual morning comes WAY too fast.

It's 5 a.m., I cook my breakfast, apparently I make a mess (Mike tells me later), and I manage to get to Chad's by 6. I'm very excited because for the first time since Monday, my triceps don't hurt! For today's nice 'n easy workout (sha!) - "Legs and Back" - all kinds of Lunges, Wall Sits, one-leg Wall Sits, Pull Ups, and plenty more. I am tired, and I get a little woozy and have to put my head between my knees a few times. I shake an angry fist and blame Boys Night!! But we make it through the workout, and that blasted "Ab Ripper X". My triceps hurt again. Grr.

Also last night I went to the grocery store to stock up on my p90x diet. I am not struggling with the food as much as Chad is. I have a breakfast sandwich in the morning, a shake after workout, a powerbar mid morning, and a normal lunch (sandwich, fruit, string cheese). I eat a handful of almonds in the afternoon, and then my dinner is 6 oz of meat, 2 C veggies, and a cup of cottage cheese. If I'm lucky, Mike cooks for us, and the meat is chicken breast - a far cry from Veggie Dogs (gag). So I'm normally OK with food, but last night all I wanted to do was buy chips. And the devil obviously went to Save Mart and put all the awesome chips on awesome sales just to tempt me even more. I stayed strong.

Then today my evil coworkers ordered pizza, glorious fresh meaty greasy pizza, which arrived at the office at 11:30 a.m. so I could smell it for the next 6 hours. I thought maybe if I ate my lame ham sandwich while breathing in the pizza smell, it would taste like pizza - F. I swear as soon as we're done with this workout program, I'm getting on a plane and flying to Chicago, and going directly from the airport to Gino's East where I will sit down and consume an entire deep dish pizza by myself!

Tomorrow is "Kenpo X", which appears to be alot like kickboxing. I'm going to pretend all my punches are aimed at Tony D. And then we're done with Week 1! And we get Sunday off! We're supposed to Stretch, but I already know the outcome of "you should be stretching" - F.

Olympics Time! - Laura

Is it getting easier or am I getting delusional?

We are inching closer and closer to finishing Week 1. And as evidenced this morning, my body isn't inching closer to anything!

Today was Yoga. Yes, it was a complete change of pace from the last three days in that I wasn't sweating in my 47-degree garage this morning. However, no climate, warm or cold, could aid my flexibility or lack thereof. Watching the people on TV contort themselves into positions that would make an S&M freak foam at the mouth was difficult enough. Trying to mirror them was downright painful. Painful and awkward.

Let me take a moment to introduce you to our trainer, Tony Douchebag, or as he's known to the rest of the world, Tony Horton:

Unfortunately, in the yoga workout, it's essential to listen to this guy yammer on and on the whole time because we have no friggin' clue what we're doing. The DVD didn't even have a "turn-off-the-DB" option. Did I mention the yoga workout is a FULL 90 MINUTES?!? The best was at the end when he had us in "lotus" position and was ohm-ing and invited us to ohm right along with him. The music geek in me, of course, had to play around with this and decided to harmonize with the ohms to create a much more soothing and musical sound....except it made me laugh a little too much for it to be a truly peaceful moment...particularly for my partner, I'm sure.

I will say this: waking up at 5:30am is becoming frighteningly easy. It might be because I'm going to bed between 9-10 every night, but regardless, I'm enjoying it so far. I'm also enjoying my morning slices of microwaved turkey bacon. No really. Turkey bacon is not so bad. But let me tell you what is bad: veggie dogs.

These are the ones I got:

Whoever invented these things must be shot...and whoever wrote "Same Great Taste" must be fed three packs of these before being shot himself because he clearly never tried one. I have eaten a total of 6...scratch that...I have choked down a total of 6 "Smart Dogs" (which, in my opinion, should be renamed "You're-a-complete-dumba$$-for-buying-these-and-thinking-they'll-taste-anything-like-hotdogs-Dogs") and I have buried them forever. Not just for Lent, which hasn't even started yet. Forever. Oh, and not literally like in my backyard either, I'm just gonna throw them away. And before any of you say, "You should have known better" or "I told you so", I want to know if you've ever actually had one yourself because "It just sounds gross" doesn't cut it in the health food department CUZ IT ALL SOUNDS GROSS!

Which leads me to my next lunch item:

That's right folks. Nonfat Plain Yogurt. Why not call it what it is..."Rancid Barf in a Bowl". Seriously. Now you're probably asking yourselves, "Chad. Why don't you add some blueberries to it to give it some flavor?" The answer to that question is: I only get ONE fruit serving a day and if you recall, my daily banana (when not consumed before workout and "discarded" during) is eaten at breakfast time. That is, until today. Today I took my banana to work and cut it into many pieces and dumped it into the 8oz of plain nonfat yogurt in a vain attempt to overcome the nasty taste of live cultures changing even the consistency of this product right before my very eyes. Did it help? Only slightly, but just enough for me to do it one more time tomorrow when I empty out that tub at lunch and find something at the store to replace it with that won't have me plugging my nose while swallowing the biggest spoonfuls possible. Maybe next time I'll check the expiration date too. HA!

If I may respond to a couple things Laura wrote in her last blog.

1) Yes, stairs yesterday were extremely difficult. My soreness takes about a day to hit me. Since Tuesday was all that kangaroo business, my legs were about dead yesterday. And since yesterday's workout was arms and shoulders, I, too, am having a hard time putting my hair behind my ears.

2) Laura wasn't making it up. I WAS the one screaming during Ab Ribber X! I'm pretty sure if I hadn't already woken up the neighborhood from the freeweight stuff earlier, my shrieks of pain later should have at least caused one neighbor to call the police on suspicion of torture occurring in my garage. Just call my place 'Gitmo'.... "Gitmo-sweat-in-my-eyes" is more like it.

And one final thought: With drinking a couple liters of water a day and especially after plyometrics on Tuesday and another leg workout coming up tomorrow, I'm thrilled to be a guy!

chad

Good Morning, Lord!

Yeah, right, more like "Good Lord, it's Morning!". Today I was a couple minutes late getting to Chad's (woopsie daisy!), and we did Arms & Shoulders, which I actually kinda liked. Most of the exercises were manageable, and I wasn't wheezing by the end. But just in case you thought this workout might end with a "happily ever after", enter the Ab Ripper X. I literally heard my abs out loud screaming this morning! (or maybe that was Chad, haha). No seriously, it really hurt.

Then today I faced a paradox that I'm sure every P90X-er goes through: Option A. drink lots of water like the program says to for maximum effectiveness or Option B. never drink any water ever again because that means I will have to go to the bathroom, which requires SITTING DOWN. Thank goodness my bathroom at work has one of those handicap bars so I can hold onto something while easing myself on and off the toilet! Are you kidding me!? Will I have no dignity left by the end??

And naturally I'm still struggling with the simple things like tucking my hair behind my ear (hurts my tricep) or using the steering wheel to turn corners (hurts my shoulders). And Chad told me he had to "crawl up" some stairs today. Good times.

Tomorrow we do "Yoga X", which sounds like a nice break, but something tells me it might not be as easy as all that. Ah heck, we'll try it anyway. Nighty night, - Laura

Um, are we done yet?

OK, so I'm trying to get ready for bed b/c I get up at an insane hour now, but I can't because I can't pull my shirt over my head! What! I asked Mike to help but all he does is poke me in the abs and then laughs at me when I cry like a little girl and beg him to stop. Oh, plus I can't sneeze because it hurts my stomach! And I can tell my legs are going to megahurt soon - they don't yet, but I can just tell, dangit! It's like when weather is way off in the distance - it's only a matter of time!

But, I need to give this more than 2 days. So just like last night and the night before, I'm going to go to sleep in my workout clothes, and I'm going to put my alarm clock in the kitchen so I have to walk all the way down the hall to turn it off at 5 a.m. (sorry Mike). Then I'm going to eat breakfast and take a nap until 5:45 when I will roll off the couch, brush my teeth, and drive to Chad's. Sooooo, as long as we don't work any muscles in my arms, neck, back, legs, or abs tomorrow, I should be good to go! Let's see, what does the schedule for tomorrow say? Oh wonderful, "Shoulders and Arms", followed by "Ab Ripper X". Sweet, no problem.... (Translate: $$$HHHIIITTT!!!)

On a positive note, I'm stoked because we made it through the first two workouts. Yes, Chad puked. And yes, I cheated and used a chair for assistance on the pull-ups. And yes, I did a few lady-style pushups. (If you know me and for some odd reason we've talked about push-ups, then you know that I am morally opposed to lady-style pushups, so this was an especially pride-crushing episode for me.) But! The rest of it was do-able. Like, I'm not at 100% and I'm definitely freakin' sore, but I'm pretty sure I can power through this.

I'm going to bed now. It's going to take me 5 minutes to pull the covers up to my chin.
- Laura

Ouch!

I am so sore today. I am sore in places I didn't even know existed. This is no ordinary workout...it's not like going to the gym, doing a circuit and heading home. No. This is a killer. Let me take a moment to recap what the first two days of P90X were like for me:

DAY 1 - Chest & Back
As many of you know, I was a high school and collegiate athlete, and completed the coursework needed for a coaching minor in college. In other words, I am no stranger to nutrition and fitness. Now, somewhere in the course of time, I lost track of how my body works. My partner, Laura, convinced me that I should eat something before starting the workout on Monday, which I NEVER have done in my life because it makes me want to puke while I'm working out. Tony Horton, the P90X trainer guy, whom I will refer to from here on out as "Tony Douchebag" says to eat something at least an hour before working out. Here lies the dilemma: do I want to get up even earlier than I already am just so I can stuff my face with a couple pieces of turkey bacon and a banana? I never needed it before! So yesterday, I second guessed myself and just 30 minutes before our workout began, I ate a banana. Not eggs, not oatmeal, a banana.

Commence workout: unfortunately, watching people on the dvd who have already achieved success in this program is not helpful for me. Why? Because I think I should be able to do it just like they are. So what happens is I don't pace myself and burn out after the first several rounds of various pushup and pull-up exercises. So toward the end, even getting into pushup position ("guy" position, not knees on the ground position) hurts and there ain't no way I'm heading anywhere near the ground without falling on my face. I power through a handful more reps and I'm done, like stick-a-fork-in-me done! I'm feeling a little woozy and Laura's feeling pretty warm, so we crack a door to the garage to get some airflow. We both step outside for a moment to sip and spit some water...no big deal. Just getting ready for the "Ab Ripper X" or as I like to call it: "William Wallace's 'Freedom' Ceremony". 15 minutes of exercises I'm sure only performers in a Cirque Du Soleil show in Vegas can do without feeling like their guts are about to come exploding out of their torsos. We finish the disembowelment exercises and I roll over on my mat onto my stomach and suddenly like a wave, it hit me. I calmly, though probably quickly, walked outside and unleashed the fury of all the water and gatorade I'd consumed during the workout, and yes of course, that blasted banana! I blame that entire episode on that banana. Well, and the complete rubbish I'd been filling my body with for the past several weeks.

Day 2 - Plyometrics
I was actually looking forward to this one. As a volleyball player, jumping and leg exercises have been such a huge part of my life for so long there's a spot saved for them at my dinner table. I started the morning out right: woke up half an hour before the workout started and got my garage ready for Day 2...no banana! Again, the workout started out strong, then Tony Douchebag kept adding more and more tricks he picked up from prison, I'm assuming. There was some serious burn going on. My personal favorite was the swing-your-legs-over-the-chair-for-a-minute exercise. Needless to say, I am very glad Day 2's workout lasted only an hour, but I will say that it is very painful to look up at the TV and see the countdown clock say there's still 39:42 left or even 18:21 remaining! It's just more time for Tony Douchebag to pull out some more of his tricks or say something he learned at the school of douchebaggery.

After getting out of the shower and coming to work, I'm starting to notice now that I'm sore, not only in my legs from today's workout, but also for the first time from yesterday's workout. My body felt really flauw yesterday (it's a Dutch word for "blah"), but I think that was from the upchuck and the protein overload all at once. I'm feeling better today overall, though I really would like to stuff my face with as much crap as I can find around the office. I'll talk more about the diet later. You won't believe what I'm doing to myself. Two words: Veggie Dogs.

chad

What the H?

Ok, this is actually my first blog post. Like, ever. Lame. What can I say, I watched Julie and Julia a couple months ago and I want to blog my experience, because I feel like accomplishing this workout program is going to be just as epic as getting through that ginormous cookbook!! So yes, it's almost "go time" for P90x. It's going to be brutal. 6 days a week for 90 days. 13 weeks. 78 workouts. Go time is 6 a.m. every morning. Each workout is 60 to 90 minutes long. The very first day we do something called the "Ab Ripper". What the h? Why don't they just call it "Jack the Ripper" b/c that's what it's going to do to my abs!! I'm going to die. And - if we want results - evidently we should adhere to a strict nutrition program at the same time. High protein (ok), low fat (ew), and low carbs (just shoot me now). But accountability is key, and I'm tired of being soft, so we're going to conquer this beast! And get ripped!! Yeah!! Tonight we are taking "before" pictures and body measurements. Maybe we'll post the pics.... if they're not too hideous. Workouts start Monday Feb 8, even though I have a bum foot, but that's a story for another day. Nothing a little Vitamin I can't fix. :)

Cheers! Laura

The Final(?) Countdown

I'm sitting in Chicago's Midway Airport after a week of eating a bunch of garbage (Buffalo Wild Wings not once, but twice! Chipotle, Chili's, Jimmy John's, etc.) and drinking several beers while catching up with old friends throughout the week. All the while what's hovering over my head is the fact that in just under 24 hours, Laura and I will be commencing with what will prove to be one of the biggest challenges to my body since playing volleyball in college. Only this will be different. I'm not 22 anymore...shocking, I know. My diet back then was at the mercy of a decent college cafeteria and the metabolism of a horse. Needless to say, neither of those things are true for me anymore. I'm known as many things among my friends and family, but "cook" isn't one of them. The workouts will be a challenge, though I'm confident I'll meet those challenges and succeed. What I'm less confident about is maintaining a healthy diet which appears to be the biggest threat to maximizing results in the next 90 days...and of course continuing the diet and exercise after we're done. The same people who don't call me "cook" also do not call me "morning person". 6am, 5 days a week?? I haven't seen a schedule like that since working those summer jobs for which I was always thankful I was going to college at the end of those three months! But, believe it or not, 6am is going to be the least of my worries! I'm excited though...we're going to have some great stories I'm sure. Check back later for some pics (though probably not "before" pics...well, maybe we'll show you those after we're done)!

chad