Ouch!

I am so sore today. I am sore in places I didn't even know existed. This is no ordinary workout...it's not like going to the gym, doing a circuit and heading home. No. This is a killer. Let me take a moment to recap what the first two days of P90X were like for me:

DAY 1 - Chest & Back
As many of you know, I was a high school and collegiate athlete, and completed the coursework needed for a coaching minor in college. In other words, I am no stranger to nutrition and fitness. Now, somewhere in the course of time, I lost track of how my body works. My partner, Laura, convinced me that I should eat something before starting the workout on Monday, which I NEVER have done in my life because it makes me want to puke while I'm working out. Tony Horton, the P90X trainer guy, whom I will refer to from here on out as "Tony Douchebag" says to eat something at least an hour before working out. Here lies the dilemma: do I want to get up even earlier than I already am just so I can stuff my face with a couple pieces of turkey bacon and a banana? I never needed it before! So yesterday, I second guessed myself and just 30 minutes before our workout began, I ate a banana. Not eggs, not oatmeal, a banana.

Commence workout: unfortunately, watching people on the dvd who have already achieved success in this program is not helpful for me. Why? Because I think I should be able to do it just like they are. So what happens is I don't pace myself and burn out after the first several rounds of various pushup and pull-up exercises. So toward the end, even getting into pushup position ("guy" position, not knees on the ground position) hurts and there ain't no way I'm heading anywhere near the ground without falling on my face. I power through a handful more reps and I'm done, like stick-a-fork-in-me done! I'm feeling a little woozy and Laura's feeling pretty warm, so we crack a door to the garage to get some airflow. We both step outside for a moment to sip and spit some water...no big deal. Just getting ready for the "Ab Ripper X" or as I like to call it: "William Wallace's 'Freedom' Ceremony". 15 minutes of exercises I'm sure only performers in a Cirque Du Soleil show in Vegas can do without feeling like their guts are about to come exploding out of their torsos. We finish the disembowelment exercises and I roll over on my mat onto my stomach and suddenly like a wave, it hit me. I calmly, though probably quickly, walked outside and unleashed the fury of all the water and gatorade I'd consumed during the workout, and yes of course, that blasted banana! I blame that entire episode on that banana. Well, and the complete rubbish I'd been filling my body with for the past several weeks.

Day 2 - Plyometrics
I was actually looking forward to this one. As a volleyball player, jumping and leg exercises have been such a huge part of my life for so long there's a spot saved for them at my dinner table. I started the morning out right: woke up half an hour before the workout started and got my garage ready for Day 2...no banana! Again, the workout started out strong, then Tony Douchebag kept adding more and more tricks he picked up from prison, I'm assuming. There was some serious burn going on. My personal favorite was the swing-your-legs-over-the-chair-for-a-minute exercise. Needless to say, I am very glad Day 2's workout lasted only an hour, but I will say that it is very painful to look up at the TV and see the countdown clock say there's still 39:42 left or even 18:21 remaining! It's just more time for Tony Douchebag to pull out some more of his tricks or say something he learned at the school of douchebaggery.

After getting out of the shower and coming to work, I'm starting to notice now that I'm sore, not only in my legs from today's workout, but also for the first time from yesterday's workout. My body felt really flauw yesterday (it's a Dutch word for "blah"), but I think that was from the upchuck and the protein overload all at once. I'm feeling better today overall, though I really would like to stuff my face with as much crap as I can find around the office. I'll talk more about the diet later. You won't believe what I'm doing to myself. Two words: Veggie Dogs.

chad